Sep. 20th, 2012

ladyegreen: (Default)
I am in no way joking or being sarcastic. I feel nothing but sadness for this man that this is what he took away from his wedding and new marriage. (Mostly he wants you to know that he did marriage right and anyone not like him didn't.)

Frowns, this poor man missed the point of marriage or joined unions completely. I saw this else where first (a site taking the piss out of his article) but I wanted to make sure that this is what he said.

No hon, you didn't get married "the right way". There is no right way to get married, what is right for you isn't a blueprint for others. My parents were married on Halloween night during a thunderstorm and I believe my mother wore a navy blue dress, my father his military dress uniform. It was right for them and they are still going strong decades later.

My brother was recently married to the love of his life, a couple that has been living together for years. The bride wore purple sneakers under her dress, the ring bearer was their beloved dog Lucy with ribbons in her fur, and it was one of most moving, most wonderful weddings I have ever been to, it was right for them.

You aren't better than my brother and sister in law because you didn't live together first.

You aren't better than anyone for the addition of having abstained from sex. Having sex for the first time on your wedding night isn't a goal anyone need aspire to. It's something you can do, for you, if it feels right too you. Sure. Why not. But it isn't the reason to be married in the first place.

If your main take away from your wedding is a preoccupation with sex and a judgmental call against anyone not like you than I am afraid it is you that did it wrong. And I feel quite badly for you and sad. The feeling one should take away from their marriage (or union) is a euphoria and joy that you have joined together your souls, not your bodies.

I hope in a few years time you realize this and maybe hold one of those services where you renew your vows. You and your wife won't be as young and beautiful, you won't be starting off a new life together, the sex part will have long since been figured out, you'll likely have been shacked up together for years.

Maybe once all those things have been stripped away you can do it the right way and you can remarry your wife because you love her, despite her flaws, despite your flaws, and it can be about your hearts and your souls this time and not about things that in the end don't really matter.


ladyegreen: (Default)

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